Top 10 Tips for Navigating the Holidays during a Divorce

Published On - November 20, 2024

Dinah Michael Divorce

The holidays are supposed to be a time for family gatherings, celebration, “good will toward men.” When you are in the middle of a divorce, however, you may dread those family gatherings and feel as though you are all out of “good will.” Most of all, you likely feel stress and uncertainty, wondering how to navigate the holidays with the divorce hanging over everyone’s head. Unfortunately, a “guaranteed to succeed” guidebook has yet to be written, but a Murfreesboro divorce attorney at Bennett | Michael | Hornsby offers 10 tips to help you navigate the upcoming holidays during a divorce.

  • Be Realistic about Expectations: Instead of trying to pretend that everything is the same this year, acknowledge to yourself that the holidays may not be the same as they were in the past. Be realistic about your expectations for what the season will bring instead of trying to recreate the feel and the traditions from past holidays. Most of all, be honest with yourself about how you are feeling and avoid imposing expectations on yourself this year.
    1. Plan Ahead: Planning for the holidays can be a complex task when you are not in the middle of a divorce. Since there is a divorce pending, planning takes on heightened importance, particularly if there are children involved. If there is a preliminary order in place that addresses parenting time during the holidays, abide by the court approved schedule. If you do not yet have preliminary parenting time orders in place, communicate with your spouse and attempt to reach an agreement about parenting time as far ahead of time as possible to avoid confusion or disputes. If there are no children involved, it can still be beneficial to discuss family gathering plans to avoid awkward or emotionally challenging encounters.
  • Put Your Children’s Needs First: If you have children, their well-being should always be your top priority. The holidays can be challenging because you undoubtedly want to spend as much time with them as possible, but it is crucial to keep in mind that (in most cases), spending time with both parents is even more important for children during the holidays to ensure that while things are changing, the holidays will still be a time of joy and happiness for them. 
  • Create New Traditions: It can be easy to wallow in memories of past holidays when you are going through a divorce. Instead of dwelling on the past though, start some new traditions to help create new memories. Switch up your holiday decorations, pick a holiday movie to watch as a family, or spend time volunteering with the kids. 
  • Take Care of Yourself: Even the most amicable divorce can still be emotionally draining. The same can be said about the holidays. No matter how much we look forward to and enjoy the holidays, they can be exhausting. The combination of a divorce during the holidays can leave you drained – physically and emotionally. Take time to care for yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest and making a point of engaging in activities that bring you peace, such as reading, meditating, or watching your favorite holiday movie.
  • Manage Finances: Divorce has financial ramifications for everyone involved. The holidays can be tricky for your finances be sure tin light of the divorce. Avoid “stress-shopping” by creating a budget and sticking to it. In addition, do not overspend on the kids this year as a way to make up for guilty feelings you may have about the divorce or as a way to subconsciously buy their favor. 
  • Be Flexible: Things may not go exactly as planned – the holidays rarely do. Try to “go with the flow” when unexpected changes occur because it will ultimately reduce your stress and allow you to focus on the joy and happiness the season can bring.
    1. Take a Break from Social Media: Social media is always a potential trap during the holidays because we all have a tendency to compare our situation to seemingly perfect families we see on social media. During a divorce, this tendency, and the accompanying feelings of sadness or inadequacy, increase dramatically. Consider taking a break this year from all social media to avoid this trap. 
  • Set Boundaries and Avoid Overcommitting: Family and friends may have good intentions but could unintentionally add to your stress in a variety of ways. To prevent this, set boundaries at the outset of the season and give them some guidelines. If you want support, tell them that; however, if you feel overwhelmed or suffocated, let them know that as well. Moreover, do not feel obligated to accept all invitations. Only go when you truly want to and when you believe that going will bring you happiness.
  • Focus on Gratitude: There are always reasons to be grateful. Sometimes you just have to adjust your outlook and find them. Focusing on the things you have to be grateful for, whether it’s your children, family, friends, or anything else, can bring you peace during the holidays, even in the midst of a divorce

Contact a Murfreesboro Family Law Attorney 

If you have additional questions about divorce, consult with an experienced Murfreesboro divorce attorney at Bennett | Michael | Hornsby as soon as possible. Contact the team today by calling 615-898-1560 to schedule your free appointment.

Dinah Michael
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